Today marked the second session with ole Ray. What I am gathering from the way he speaks, the words he uses, the way he tries to build rapport is that he is old school. We are talkin ooooooold school. Today after reviewing my “safety plan” he asked me to bring with me on friday something that I can hold in my hands that will remind me that I am a 23 year old woman. Something to ground me should I get lost in the memories of the past. He was very reassuring in both a frightening way and a comforting way. He said “I am one of the best, I have been doing this for 30 plus years and you are going to remember things that you have not remembered before, things that will cause to regress severely (scary part) but if something happens and you need more time to come back to the present, to get your bearings that next client I have waiting outside is being sent home. You will have all the time you need and if you trust me you will get what you are looking for (comforting part). So here we go….what did I get myself into, I signed up to do trauma work and memory recovery with one of the worlds best. Holy shit….Before I left he told me I needed to agree to one more thing. He asked me how I dealt with anger. If I went into fits of rage….well I mean sure what pms’ing girl hasn’t gone a little loco on their significant other over something rediculously petty, but on the whole I deal with anger pretty well…you know like a southern bell…nicccce and passively 🙂 He said “I don’t hurt you, you don’t hurt me, or my office are we clear?” My immediate response was…”your office? why on earth would I hurt your office?” he went on to tell me that some patients while experiencing a flash back punch holes in the walls. I though good lord man you need some more pillows in this joint. And that was it, that was the contract. “I don’t hurt you, you don’t hurt me, or my office.”
I am still trying to come up with my grounding piece. The thing I am suppose to bring to each session. It is suppose to be comforting and remind me who I am now, as an adult. I haven’t the slightest clue. I’m thinking my school ID or a picture of some sorts but if im in the throws of a flashback I doubt a fucking picture is really gonna bring me on back. So I am not sure. I am up for suggestions though??