It has been a long an arduous battle with my anxiety. I have lost so much weight. From 158 to 144… I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I have been prescribed benzodiazepines for anxiety since I was 15. Unfortunately this past couple of months I have gone from taking them as needed to every day. On the wonderful world wide internet I found something called the valium taper. Please, let me explain. You see, .5 mg of xanax is equal to 5 mg of valium accept valium has a half life of 100 hours…(rediculously long right!?) where as xanax has a half life of 8 hours. So what you do in cahoots with your doc is tell him how much xanax you are taking (or what other benzo) and turn it into valium. The point being, it is much easier to wean off of a long lasting benzo than a fast acting one. So I am taking 20mg valium qid (four times a day) for 4 weeks, then 3 a day for four weeks and so one until I don’t have to take any at all. Now I will still have the xanax for those horrid nights of flashbacks and days of crippling anxiety but the point is I will be back in control of them and not the other way around. So let the Taper begin. I am, expectedly so, incredibly nervous. I have tried to wean on my own before and the withdrawal is no joke. Not sure if you know this or not but alcohol and benzos are the only two things you can die from withdrawal due to seizures. But I feel much more capable with the support of my doctor. The fact that he didn’t judge me, call me an addict, and listened to me made all the difference. He is a great guy.
Another thing on my mind has been this fucking day light savings. I absolutely hate the night. hate hate hate it. And its getting dark at 5:15pm….soon that will be 4:30. Fucking hell. Bring out the SAD lights. I suppose I will blog more frequently. I haven’t anything better to do.